Ding Dong the Snape is Gone
by Maria Shonaru
Summary: Just a funny little oneshot fic that was written as an assignment for school. What would happen if the slytherins and gryffindors team up to over throw Snape? randomness humor and sensless teacher abuse!


hey everyone this is just a quick one chapter story that I wrote for school and thought it was ok. we had to write a parody to a book called animal farm and it got me thinking what would happen if they overthrew Snape?

I don't know any of the characters used in this fic nor really much of the basic plot line.

The United Students of Potions

Harry, Ron and Hermione were now in their sixth year of school at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They were two weeks into the term and getting ready for their potions class. Their professor Snape had already assigned them an essay that was to fill fifteen inches of parchment due that day on the properties of Mandrakes.

"Bloody hell Snape is an evil git!" Ron exclaimed shoving another piece of toast in his mouth, casting a glance up to the said Potions master.

"Ron! I'm sure he's just trying to make sure we know everything we will need for our N.E.W.T.S." Hermione reasoned.

"Oh come off it Hermione. Everyone knows Snape is the most unfair teacher around." Harry exclaimed.

"Yes I supposed," Hermione agreed slowly. "I just hope he'll take my essay. I was only able to cut it down to seventeen inches." She said quietly.

"Ugh….Hermione you're impossible!" Ron exclaimed in exasperation. "Even the Slytherins are starting to complain about him. I think we should follow Fred and George's example and overthrow the git or something. Shame they left last year they probably would have loved to help with that."

The trio finished eating their breakfast before walking out of the Great Hall and making their way down to the Dungeons. They walked into the room and silently took their seats. Snape had not yet arrived and most of the students, Slytherins included, were complaining about him.

"Maybe there's something to your idea Ron. Though it would mean we'd have to team up with the Slytherins." Harry said with a look that just screamed he was coming up with another one of his famous rule breaking ideas. "We could teach ourselves. Hermione's smart enough that she would know all the right answers."

"We can't take over a class Harry! There's no way the other teachers would just sit back and allow something like that to happen!" Hermione exclaimed. It took her another ten seconds to relies that her words had fallen on deaf ears as the two boys had already begun going around the room to other Gryffindor students to see what they thought of the idea.

Snape swept into the room and silence fell immediately as everyone quickly took their seats. He went around the room and collected the essays before beginning the lesson. He gave a quick explanation of the potion they would be making before setting them to work.

"I will randomly choose a student at the end of today's class and test their potion on that caged canary sitting on my desk. If it is not done correctly it will be fifty points from that student's house and a mandatory detention. I also expect an essay due in three days at your next lesson on the uses of this potion. It is to be twenty inches long." Snape said with a sneer.

A groan escaped the entire class which only served to make Snape angry. He took out this anger in the form f points from Gryffindor students as he went around the classroom. Everyone knew that as head of Slytherin he would never take points from his own house. He was highly favoring of the students in his house, especially Draco Malfoy.

About five minutes before the end of class Snape yelled at Ron to bring his potion forward to be tested. Ron gave an involuntary gulp but complied to the request. He walked forward with his potion, that he knew he has made at least too runny.

"Now if Mr. Weasley here has by some miracle managed to make this potion correctly, which I highly doubt, then this canary should be able to survive a small dose of this snake venom. I would say that potion looks awfully runny Mr. Weasley." Snape took the potion with a smirk and using a miniature baser fed the runny potion to the bird. He then used the baser to feed it a small dose of the poison. When the bird began to act like it was suffocating Snape smirked again and fed it some of the potion out of a flask on his desk. After a few seconds the bird was perfectly fine again.

"Well it would seem that Gryffindor has just lost fifty points and Mr. Weasley has a mandatory detention with me tonight at six o'clock."

The bell rang and everyone packed up their stuff, filing out of the classroom silently.

"Well all the Gryffindors agree that Snape has become unbearable. Perhaps we should try talking to the Slytherins about it." Ron was saying later that day at lunch.

"I say go for it. Hermione are you with us if this actually works?" Harry asked looking at Hermione who had remained silent.

"Do I have much of a choice? No one else would really make sure things were done right." She said moodily.

"Right then, guess all that's left is to talk to the Slytherins. Malfoy is the most popular guess we should try talking to him first." Harry said thoughtfully.

"You relies if this doesn't work there's a chance we could be expelled for this right?" Ron said nervously.

"At least we'll have our own legacy then." Harry replied with a smirk that could have rivaled his father's in the days when he had been part of the infamous Mischievous Marauders.

"Would you two stop talking and just go and talk to Malfoy already?" Hermione said irritably.

"Right then." Harry said as he and Ron walked over to the Slytherin table. At first it looked as if a fight was going to break out but things quickly quieted down as Harry and Ron kept talking. They were there for a while, but when they did finally walk away they were smirking.

"Well what did they say?" Hermione asked.

"If all goes as planned, Thursday should be a very interesting day." Ron said finally after a dramatic pause.

The bell rang at the beginning of class and Snape walked around the room. It was Thursday and the essays were due. After asking for the essay from every single student and none of them having it Snape was angry. His face had turned a nice shade of red and he now resembled a beet. He had taken a total of close to one hundred and fifty points from the Gryffindor students for not having their essays.

"Well since none of you found it necessary to do your homework that must mean that you all know the work so well that a pop quiz should be an easy break from the usual class work."

Harry stood up and all of the students followed suit.

"I suggest you all take your seats again immediately." Snape said in a dangerously low voice.

"Sorry Professor but we'll be taking charge of this class from now on." Draco Malfoy said.

Snape looked aghast. Draco was one of his more favored students but here he was helping in an overthrowing of his teachings.

"NOW!!' Harry yelled. Every student whipped out their wands and began to firing off curses and hexes at the Potions master. A well aimed expelliarmius charm from Lavender Brown sent his wand flying just as he was about to defend himself and he was forced to run from the class room spells ricocheting off the walls after him.

The students let out cheers of excitement. Half of them hadn't expected their plan to overthrow Snape to work. They wasted no time in spelling the door shut in case Snape returned with more teachers to try and take back his class room. Harry had talked Dobby into getting some help from his fellow house elves and their trunks would be delivered to the room. They planned on taking over the entire corridor that way they would have a bathroom. Harry had also used the Marauders Map to find any secret passages and blocked them off so that they couldn't allow any unwelcome guests into their corridor. The house elves would also take care of food and the other class rooms in that corridor would be changed into sleeping areas.

Everyone quickly set to work.

Hermione wrote the new rules up on the chalk board that read:

1) No student shall order another student around.

2) No student shall do homework.

3) No student shall talk to a teacher.

4) No student shall cast a spell on a fellow student.

5) All students are equal.

6) Students good teachers bad.

A few weeks passed and there had still been no major attempt by the teachers to bring the students back under control. Hermione and Draco had taken over teaching all of the lessons.

Harry had been out on his patrol of the corridor when he came running in. "Troubles finally come!" He said. "Filch, Snape, McGonagall, and Sinistra are coming this way."

Even as he finished speaking the felt the room shake as the teachers blasted their way through the magical barrier the students had set up.

The three teachers and Filch rushed into the room and before any of the students could draw the wands had stunning and paralyzing spells flying all over.

"Stupefy!" shouted Snape stunning Dean Thomas as he was about to grab his own want to counter the attacks.

"Petrificus Totalus!" McGonagall shouted at the same time. The spell hit Goyle causing him to go rigid and fall over like a piece of wood.

Harry dove around the soaring spells having had much practice from the many times he had been attacked by death eaters and grabbed his wand off of his desk where he had left it. He rolled out of the way of and on coming curse and sent a stunning spell flying at Snape who dodged it only just in time.

The spell ended up hitting Filch who had been just behind Snape and he crumpled to the floor having no way to defend him self since he was a squib and was not capable of using magic.

As more students got a hold of their wands the teachers realized there was no way that they were going to be able to win and were forced to retreat. Sinistra dragged Filch behind her out of the room as Snape and McGonagall covered her before they themselves quickly exited.

The students joyfully celebrated their well earned victory.

Hermione woke them all early the next morning. It seemed she had been waking them earlier and earlier each day for their lessons.

They all got dressed, girls in one room boys in another as they'd been doing, just like for sleeping.

They weren't really complaining until they saw their breakfast. Each had only a bowl of porridge and a single piece of toast to go with their pumpkin juice.

Their breakfast portions had seemed to be getting smaller but this was just getting ridiculous. Only four students out of the thirty some odd present had a normal sized breakfast. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco sat separately from all the rest with Crabbe and Goyle acting like their body guards.

When questions began to raise Hermione stood to speak.

"I know you are all becoming concerned about the cut down of food but these rations are necessary. We have been storing the extra food for incase the teachers ever discover that the house elves have been bringing it too use and forbid them to do so further. Draco and I teach and Harry and Ron guard the corridors, we need to extra food to keep up our energy. Please just all calm down. Now I will begin the charms lesson in forty-five minutes, do eat up." She said sitting down and returning to her own meal.

"I guess that's fair." Neville Longbottom said. The other students murmured hesitant agreements and sat down to eat their meager breakfast.

Later that day Hermione called everyone together for a meeting. She began a speech about loyalty to the six rules that had been established and how it had been betrayed. At this time Crabbe and Goyle grabbed Draco on each side by the arms.

There were some cries of outrage at first but they quickly died down and soon the only sound left was the sound of Draco's outraged cries.

"What the bloody hell do you think your doing?!" He screamed as he was dragged down the corridor and tossed out of the magical barrier.

"I received information that Malfoy had been plotting with Snape to help him return. He even tried to sabotage the fight." Hermione said.

"But I saw him fighting along with us! He was stunned by McGonagall." said one of the Slytherins.

"All well plotted." Harry answered. "It him who stunned Patty, Neville, and Crabbe."

Harry's words caused more of a more believed silence. He was after all the Boy Who Lived the savior of the wizarding world.

As the weeks passed the lesson times grew longer. There had been a rocky point when Hermione had assigned a homework assignment and many people consulted the rules having been sure there was one against doing homework. They found that rule two the one they thought was against it read:

2) No student shall do _excessive_ homework.

The only other thing to cause controversy was when Harry was seen talking Hagrid by a student on their way to the bathroom. They again went to the rules, 3) No student shall talk to a _head_ teacher, they read.

"My fellow students you've been becoming concerned but I assure you my dealings with Hagrid are strictly for obtaining supplies needed to keep the lessons going.

Many of the students accepted this explanation. They had during the first week all put their money together in a large standard size eighteen cauldron for a treasury and had been ordering things by owl but the teachers had started to intercept these.

Harry was negotiating with Hagrid on whom to sell a large supply of potion ingredients from Snape's own personal storage closet. Both Flitwick and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher were interested in buying it. There were rumors going around every time that a sale was about to be made that the other was in league with Snape. Harry finally sold to Flitwick. He was given a promissory note for the payment that he had Hagrid take to Gringotts the wizarding bank to be paid for. Hagrid returned with the news that it had been fake. Hermione immediately began to prepare for an attack that she said was sure to be coming.

It did. The very next morning whilst the students were still sleeping the teachers snuck in led by Flitwick. Charms were cast on many of the students assuring that they would stay asleep but before the could finish Parvati Patil woke up and raised an alarm. The remaining students were forced to retreat to the class room where the locked themselves in led by Harry and Hermione. Ron was one of the ones who had been enchanted.

They sat in there for hours in dismay thinking that they had finally been defeated. They could hear the teachers talking happily congratulating each other for finally bringing some order back to things.

Harry leapt up suddenly, "We can't give up now! We've fought to hard and been free to long to lose like this!" He exclaimed. Many of the students were moved by this and in one final charge the rushed out of the class room catching the teachers off guard. After only minutes they sent the teachers running for a second time. They woke up their friends and celebrated another victory filling in those who had missed it.

Things were quiet again for a few weeks but as the walked into the room one day they noticed only a single sentence on the chalk board, students good, teachers _best_. At this moment Hermione walked in wearing the robes of a professor giving a tour of the class room to the teachers of the school and explaining how they learned for longer hours and got more homework now. Harry was with her also wearing the robes of a faculty member instead of a student.

They sat down with five teachers and began a card game as the students watched aghast from out in the hallway where they had been shooed. The last thing they saw before begrudgingly going back to their common rooms of old was Hermione getting into an argument with Snape because they had both place the Ace of hearts.


End file.
